There’s so much going on in our lives on a daily basis. You constantly take in information at work and at home that you process from a variety of sources whether it be computer, phone, books/newspapers, TV, seminars and events. And if that’s not enough, you keep yourself busy by consuming every minute of your day with continuous activity and experiences that keep you on the move. Besides all of that, we’re a society of consumers we take in lots of food and purchase material goods on a frequent basis. But with everything that you take in during your daily routine, why do you still feel empty?

Seeking outside of yourself for something that you feel is missing is NOT going to satisfy you. It actually has the opposite effect. Because what you’re seeking has nothing to do with what you really want inside. Think for a moment about a particular area of your life where you feel something is not quite right. What is the feeling or quality that you feel is missing? For example, you might think about the relationship aspect of your life and declare that you want to feel more support. But rather than seek out support, you try to fill yourself up with everything but the quality that you wanted most. When you seek out anything, it’s close to impossible to create a positive situation because you’re coming from such a place of lack and need. This type of action, will not give you the outcome that you’re looking for in the end.

The only true way to bring a quality into your life is to demonstrate it yourself. Whatever that quality may be, you must first exhibit it in your own world. Right now, think about some of the feelings, experiences, or attributes that would help to fulfill your life whether it’s love, fun or more meaning. Write out a list of these feelings and qualities, and then start by practicing those traits on a daily basis while offering them to others as well. This will bring a richness and fullness to you that will only attract more of the same…leading to satisfaction at your core.

One of the significant outcomes of personal development is the noticeable effect it has on your relationships and your current environment. This occurs as you progress towards the pursuit of a goal while you work to release limiting beliefs that you begin to feel a shift in how you fit into your current surroundings. When this happens, you might notice that the conversations and viewpoints that once felt common with the people around you have somehow changed, making it more difficult for you to relate to these people as well as the situations that surround you. This would be a clear indication that you’ve outgrown your environment.

When this begins to occur, we often feel discouraged. In fact, this is one of the primary reasons that people resist changing because they are often reluctant to let go of the relationships and environments that feel familiar to them when they are in the midst of transitioning into a new role, and new way of performing in the world. To let go of what feels familiar can bring up a variety of feelings during the stages of change, which can range from being scared and alone, to isolated when you’re not sure of where you fit in, and are still feeling uncertain about your future. Understand that this is all part of the process, and even though this in-between place can feel unsettling, it will eventually shift as you become more comfortable with your new image. What’s important to realize is that outgrowing your environment is actually a good sign because its usually the first indication that growth has taken place. Also, keep in mind that these outward changes in your life don’t usually happen abruptly but rather gradually over time since they are dependent on your comfort level and your ability to adapt and internalize change.

Regardless, environment is very important to our success. It can make all the difference in the world when you are in the process of making changes, especially when it comes to getting quicker results as you adopt new beliefs and behaviors. A supportive environment will facilitate this progression and will help to make change a more formidable prospect for the individual. Without this support though, the process can seem insurmountable, especially because we are more sensitive to outside influences when our new beliefs and behaviors have not yet become firmly established within us. Therefore, it is at this point when our surroundings echo our old beliefs, that cause us the most distress. Its this period of transition that can be the most challenging.

Because of this, it’s essential to seek out other avenues of support and to broaden your professional and social circles. Reach out to new people who reflect your new attitude and way of life. You might consider the following sources: business networking, mastermind groups, seminars/workshops, coaches/mentors, spiritual or religious groups, community activities and various classes. Trust your gut when it comes to choosing the right environment or new connection. You know that you’re in the right place when you feel inspired, supported and an overall positive, upbeat energy. Notice whether you feel energized rather than drained by the atmosphere. Keep in mind that with time, you will naturally attract the people and situations that reflect who you are and what you are looking to create.

This question sounds easy and straightforward, but when faced with answering it we generally list everything that we don’t want rather than clearly defining what our heart truly desires. It is difficult to really define this for several reasons. One significant reason is that we’re used to keeping this part of ourselves a secret for fear of being judged. After all, no one wants to hear the typical unsupportive responses such as “that is not possible” or “who do you think you are?” Add to that the pressure we feel to conform to our family beliefs, as well as societies definition of what is important in life, and our ability to express our deepest desires in this way becomes virtually impossible.

So recently, I came across an interesting question from author/coach, Michael Neill, as stated in his book, You Can Have What You Want.

The question is

“What would you do if you weren’t afraid?”

This was a powerful statement for me, so it really caught my attention. What this question does is to help you eliminate all of the chatter in your mind so that you can stop and listen to your inner voice. This is the aspect of yourself that is wise; the part that always knows the truth, you just have to be willing to hear it.

Unfortunately, fear can often silence even the grandest of dreams and consequently your inner voice. Its our minds, which have a tendency to focus on the many fearful thoughts that make it seem too scary to go after our wants. In addition to fear, our minds become preoccupied with all of the logistics and the obstacles for creating our inner goals. That’s why this question is so powerful it circumvents your mind so to speak, allowing you to tune into your heart; therefore, releasing the mind from all those opposing thoughts.

You can prepare yourself to use this question by finding some time alone when you are not feeling rushed or stressed. Take out paper and write down a list of every idea that comes up without censoring anything. Its not necessary to know how possible they are at this point. Spend a few weeks doing this practice and compare your notes at the end of the month. Notice what the re-occurring theme is throughout so that you can identify what is most important to you.

Whether its changing a career, beginning a new relationship, having a healthy, fit body or spending more time enjoying life…these are just some of our goals. But when we zero in on the specifics of the goal such as choosing to be the owner of a gourmet ice cream shop or having more time to travel the world to exotic places, then our dreams really come to life.

The next step is to evaluate each intention in order to learn what your highest priority is at this time. Then proceed to go after your top goal rather than attempting to pursue several of them simultaneously. You’ll know that you have connected with your most important desire because of the feeling that it generates. This is the one that excites you and makes you go – WOW! Feeling the emotion and passion behind the goal is the driving force that propels you to take those action steps that move you ahead. Acting on your goal is essential, since dreaming about it will not make it happen.

Once you decide on the goal that you want to focus on prepare yourself to take the first step in gathering information. This is the time to explore your goal by seeking the facts and knowledge that support your desire. Commit to acquiring the skills sets that are needed to achieve your objective and then decide to take one or two action steps this week to further this learning. Consistency is key here. Rather than working on too many action steps at once and then possibly giving up altogether, its more important to pace yourself by taking continuous action steps each week no matter how small.

As you build on this process, surround yourself with a positive and supportive environment and then look forward to your success!