Some people work in careers that help pay the bills. They are good at what they do but they are not totally passionate about it. And that’s fine for them because in their free time they enjoy what they are passionate about…whether it is baking or remodeling homes, etc. In fact, clients have often told me that the minute they need to start earning money from what they are passionate about, they no longer feel the same way about it, which for them means that the pressure gets turned on because now they need to perform.

So how easy is it to make a substantial living doing what you love? That depends on two things…you and most importantly the marketplace, which ultimately has the influence over your financial outcome. It’s about finding that sweet spot where your passion and the marketplace meet. Then you also have to decide how much, if any, are you willing to tweak what you do in order to deliver what people want and be able to make a profit from it. It comes down to the need that people have for what you’re offering…and if it’s not a mainstream idea then it becomes a narrow margin of people that will use your particular business. And do those not so mainstream people have enough disposable income to pay for your service? After all, there are many who may benefit from your business, but that doesn’t always mean that they want to pay for it. Both of these concerns totally depend on your ability to target your market segment and actually sell your goods or services. This proves the need to reach your customer and then communicate a substantial perceived value for your services so that they buy from you. It’s exactly at this moment that your excitement for what you do must shine through, in addition to your belief that you can deliver “the goods.”

The ability to market and manage your business will define how well you can earn a living. Therefore, we can definitely have our passions in life and enjoy them but unfortunately, they might not always be our moneymakers. But that doesn’t have to stop you since the typical, creative solution for supporting a career that you love is to take on a second job in order to earn a living that will sustain you. You might even want to consider the other reason to vary careers since there is something to be said for how close your personality traits relate to your profession. For example, when you apply very similar traits to what you are passionate about, oftentimes it will tip the scale out of balance so that you and your career are totally entrenched and life suddenly becomes homogeneous. The result over time can cause creativity and free thought to be stymied. Whereas, on the flip side being employed in an area that doesn’t necessarily relate too closely to your personality traits can quite often allow for just the right amount of personal growth to occur. This can create more of a balanced and stimulating lifestyle in the long run, as well as the energy to free you up to enjoy and work with what you are passionate about during the rest of the week.

Some additional thoughts to consider…don’t let finding your “right” career have so much power over you, in that you want it to complete you. Whether the pressure is internally or externally driven, it’s important to find a way to let it go and not buy into the thinking that you have one chance to find the perfect calling in life in order to make a living. By looking at it from another perspective with the belief of having more worth and power over your career, you can better influence the way things turn out. In addition, be open to more than one possibility since there’s no such thing as having just one option, especially since we change over time. Maybe we can all “lighten up” and not be so hard on ourselves when it comes to “figuring out” the best way to ultimately earn a living.

I have to say that the thought of writing this article was definitely stressing me out.  That’s when my precocious stepdaughter suggested that I write an article on procrastination…and then I knew there was something provocative about this topic on love. So the pressure is on as the message I’m looking to deliver is about how to love yourself more.

The question is…can you really love yourself even when you’re not perfect?  This particular theme of the perfectionist along with the voice of the harsh critic plays a big role in your resistance to self-love. The other key factor is your “old story” of the past that you tell yourself which causes the disconnection of love. So you might never be perfect but you can still benefit by learning how to love yourself better. The challenge then becomes how to make this happen, especially when there’s no course of study that prepares us for this task. With that in mind, let’s explore several approaches for raising the level of love in your life.

Re-Work Your Background Story:

We all have our background stories – some positive, some not so positive, and some that are just okay. However, even with the best upbringing, we can still harbor memories of times when we felt hurt from an injustice.  With that said, the deciding factor is actually about the relationship to your story because that’s what we hold onto, which enforces our beliefs and determines if we feel loved, or not. Only you can decide when you’re tired of repeating your story and reliving it. Ask yourself if it is possible to be aware of your past without judging it too harshly. How willing are you to reach a level of acceptance that is required to let it go?  When you decide to stop replaying those messages from the past in a negative way, you can then allow for love today. To continue with a negative story would only perpetuate the hurt, which now becomes self-inflicted.  Keep in mind your past made you who you are today. This is someone you should be proud of.  In fact, it’s the sum of these experiences that create the depth and richness of your character over time.

Practice Self-Awareness and Acceptance:

To love oneself requires a keen sense of self-awareness. This awareness enables you to witness yourself with objectivity and fairness. I know from my own experience that this sounds easy in theory, but not so much when you’re in the midst of real life. Putting this in practice requires you to view your positive traits as well as your negative ones with humility and compassion rather than with the judgment of the ego. Focus more on the qualities that you appreciate about yourself and make peace with your weaknesses, keeping in mind that we all have them. The intention is to find a way to accept your shadow side with less judgment. For example, when judging take a step back and ask yourself how you can be more accepting. Then think about how to extend this acceptance and compassion to your best friend or child, and then do this with yourself.

Be Focused:

The first step when silencing negative self-talk, requires you to be aware and fully present in the moment in order to observe it. The other option that can be very useful is to be fully absorbed in an activity that requires your utmost focus, which allows you to circumvent the chatter entirely.

Establish Loving Behaviors:

Demonstrating love is important.  For example, we might be able to express loving words and thoughts, but what truly resonates as love is the way we demonstrate it. After all, love is really an action word.  With that in mind, supportive loving behaviors consist of self-care. Those little everyday things that go a long way such as proper sleep, healthy food and exercise, as well as prayer and meditation for our spiritual health.  In addition, we need to feed ourselves with fun activities that support joy and happiness.  It’s important to look at how you spend your days. What are you doing and how does it feed your soul?  I’m talking to your passion now!

Show Your Love:

Giving and extending our love and caring to others, including our pets is another way that helps fuel our own love tanks.  Seeing our love in action opens our hearts and helps us to feel good about ourselves.

Hire an Expert:

Working with a professional such as a therapist or a coach can guide you in this loving practice by way of learning new behavioral skills, as well as examining belief systems that may be holding you back.

Re-Direct Your Energy:

There are two physical techniques that can further support the foundation for love.  Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) and Acupuncture help to re-program the energy patterns in your body by allowing for the release of patterns that negate self-love.

By now most of us are familiar with that ever-so popular question, “What would you be doing if you weren’t afraid?” It’s typically a great question to use when you’re unsure about where your passion lies when it comes to your career. You can also use it during transitional times in your life when you want to move forward and are feeling resistance. But beyond that initial question lies the more important inquiry you want to be asking which is, “What would your life look like if you loved yourself more?”

If you’re thinking I’m on some “New Age” rant about how love is the answer to all things…maybe you’re right.  Does it always come down to self-love and self-esteem?  YES!!!  How could it not?

And if you truly loved yourself unconditionally then let’s consider all the positive possibilities that could happen…

• You would be free to explore your passions in life, especially your choice of career since you wouldn’t need anyone else’s approval.

• Your existing business would expand because your focus would be more on serving your target market rather than thinking about how others view you and meet your needs. This in turn could produce higher income.

• The relationships in both your business and personal life would likely grow because when you exude “love” you tend to attract more people.

• You have the ability to choose and maintain healthy relationships since you are not coming from “need” energy.

• Your stress level would go down because you would feel tanked up and more supported.

• Your energy level would go up since you no longer function from negative emotions (fear, anger, sadness).

• You would not have to reach out to those pseudo fillers such as food, alcohol, drugs, shopping, TV, etc. because there is no emptiness that needs to be filled.

• Your health would improve because we all know the power of those feel good endorphins.

• If you’re a parent, you will have much more love to give when interacting with your children.

• And you might even contribute more to altruistic causes, which you offer freely from a place of love and having enough to give, rather than giving out of obligation.

• You would be open to receive without being so guarded, leading you to feel deserving of all good things – especially happiness!

Stay tuned for how to up your love factor in the next “Thought and Action” article.