Are you feeling stuck in your quest for personal growth? If you’re tired and frustrated because you haven’t been able to create lasting change, then it’s time to do something different. So let’s start by exploring two obstacles that get in your way of the path to progress. This would include our habitual way of thinking and our need to look for a quick fix that really doesn’t get to the heart of the matter.
In your approach to personal growth, do you analyze too much? You know…when you go into your head and your analytical mind starts thinking way too hard about everything. Whether it’s seeking out the lesson that you need to learn or the fact that you focus on what might be inherently wrong with you, all in an effort to change. You just want to figure it out in order to solve what you consider to be the problem. However, no matter how hard you work this way, it never makes an impact. This never-ending cycle is the ego’s way of sabotaging you and keeping you stuck.
Shiny Object Syndrome
Maybe this sounds familiar…you spend time and money reading lots of books, attending the best programs and workshops, and seeking out various industry professionals in an effort to improve yourself and get results. These fancy complicated programs are designed to fix us, and we get hooked because we reach out for something that connects to the part of us that feels empty inside. This “shiny object syndrome” marketing appeals to us because it grabs our attention. In fact, they all promise to help, but often fail to work in the end because they don’t provide on a fundamental basis. Let’s be honest – unless it’s sexy enough, it doesn’t sell.
Both of these scenarios typically miss an important underlying factor. This essential core element is SELF-LOVE, which might sound trite and elementary. However, I’m sure you know lots of people who achieve their goals but still feel an emptiness within. Think of Marilyn Monroe and Robin Williams who both played a role for the public but suffered greatly inside. The reality is that most people don’t firmly establish self-love. You can claim to have high self-esteem, but that’s based on the feeling of being proud of your accomplishments and successes. It’s great to celebrate your achievements, but that’s very different from self worth, which is the essence of self-love and is not dependent on what you do. It’s totally unconditional. Therefore in my coaching, I start the process with an inward focus, which creates the foundation for authentic success and the ability to achieve outer results.
Self-love is the heart of your successful journey; whether you want to grow your business or want meaningful personal relationships, it all begins with self-love. When you feel good enough you come from a place of abundance and confidence, not lack. This allows you to tap into your ability to create and give generously to those areas that you want to change. When we stop criticizing ourselves and begin to raise our opinion of ourselves anything is possible. This is not about the ego or arrogance – it’s authentic unconditional self-love, imperfections and all. The inner message would be “I am good, and I am enough.” It’s the act of building yourself up.
So if you still think that self-love isn’t sexy enough, then think again. We all know that the most attractive people are those who authentically exude self-love and confidence. They are positive to be around. Self-assured people allow us to feel safe, connected and grounded in their presence.
To begin your journey, start with these action steps:
- Get out of your head. Don’t get stuck analyzing your behavior. Stop thinking so hard about how to make things work.
- Self-love starts with the awareness of self-talk. Think about your internal dialogue. Does it focus on the positive or the negative? Change your focus from your so-called negative traits to your positive ones.
- Everyday, write down 3 things that you appreciate about yourself.
- Look in the mirror as you look deeply into your eyes, one at a time and say – “I love you” and “I am enough.”
If you want to raise your level of love, then it’s necessary to practice these steps to increase your love factor. What we practice, we become. After all, what could be the downside? Ask yourself, will I love myself more today or will I criticize myself more? How you want to grow is up to you. You have a choice everyday.